Retrain My Brain With YouTube - A Six Part Series

Retrain My Brain With YouTube - A Six Part Series - Day One

I've set a goal. It's not a big goal or particularly difficult, but I have a habit of quitting what I try to start so I thought if I wrote it all down I would push through.

I listen to a lot of positivity and self-motivational videos, talks and podcasts, but this video hit hard to home. I like to believe everyone is on a journey and I'm at this point in mine where I believe, like truly believe, I deserve happiness and success. I deserve to work hard at something and actually complete it. I deserve to not abandon a project once it starts going well because I'm afraid of success or don't feel I'm worthy of success.

So I made a commitment sitting on the floor of my office meditation/prayer room: I would listen to this video every day for 6 more days. I wanted to see if it would penetrate my consciousness and if the messages would ingrain themselves in my mind. I'll post my updates and may even do a vlog about my experience and how this impacts my soul journey.

Day One - Saturday

I woke up this morning knowing my weekend was jam packed. My immediate thoughts were of dread. Dread of the social interaction, dread of rushing from one place to another, dread of having to leave my comfortable apartment and venture out into the world instead of spending the day in bed watching Netflix with my cat.

After a few minutes I caught myself. I reminded myself of this challenge and tried to find gratitude. As cheesy as it sounds...I felt better and more in control of myself.

I listened to the video while I was in the shower and washing my face. Did I give it my full attention, no, but I did take something big away from it: the idea that the biggest way to not succeed is to not get started.

If I don't even give this weekend a chance of being fun, then how can it be? So I'm trying to stay positive by focusing on the positives. As much as I have social anxiety, I know it doesn’t flare up around the people I’ll be seeing this weekend. I also know that after spending time with this group of friends I always feel recharged and happier. I have to stop letting anxiety keep me from fulling appreciating my social connections.

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breathe.

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