Skip to main content

How to Achieve your Goals When you have Depression


Every time a dark period comes over me it always starts the same. Things just seem to feel more bland. Personal interactions become taxing and I convince myself that there really isn't much point to anything because I'll always feel this way. Depression convinces me that I'll always feel lost, distant, sad. I'll never be happy because I'll never hit that golden target that will make life worthwhile.

Like I mentioned last week in my post about Dealing with Burnout and Getting Back on Track when I feel hopeless is when I start my self sabotage. However, depression goes to a new level that feeling burnt out doesn't reach. Depression convinces you that your goals are pointless because you're worthless. It robs you of your optimism and confidence because what could you possibly be happy about. Depression tells you that you're always going to be a failure and that you're exactly the way your mother/father/sibling/family member/friend/co-worker makes you feel.

I'm thankful that my depressive episodes are often followed by a period of positivity and mindfulness. It was during this period that I started to plan for my next dark time. As always, I made a list.

The List

The things I get depressed about focus on my decisions in the past and how they'll impact my future:

  • I should have studied X so I could be Y.
  • If I had stayed at X company I would have been in Y position by now.
  • If I had continued to go to the gym and diet I could fit into a size X instead of being a size Y.
  • If I had kept up with my writing I would be an author by now.

When 2020 was fast approaching I decided to make a list of all the things I wish I had done as if I was a bright eyed 18 year old with my whole life ahead of me.

With 52 weeks to move closer to my dreams I determined how often I would have to work on my dream in order to have something to show for it at the end of the year.

I popped all that information into an excel spreadsheet and each time  I work towards my goal I mark it down on a calendar. You can do this in a bujo or even a regular notebook.



What does this have to do with depression?

I often personify my depression because while I understand it's a result of my abusive childhood, I like to believe it's also my arch nemesis. Depression wants me to fail. Depression wants me to wallow. Depression wants me to become angry and bitter at the world. Not today Satan.

When you're in the midst of your depression and everything feels pointless - work down the list. You don't have to do a lot, just do something. Achieve something, even if it's just thinking of your next steps. What you do doesn't have to be perfect. Combat the negative thoughts depression is throwing your way with action.

I really hope this post works for you and please let me know down below how you go! Also be sure to connect with me on Instagram @breathe.syd !

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why do People Stay With Abusive Parents?

The sad thing about abuse is it's all about training an individual to believe that without their abuser they're nothing. Abuse teaches the victim that they'll fail without the abusers hand guiding them through every situation. Although I was extremely depressed, always anxious and the most miserable I had been in my life, here are the reasons I stayed with my parents for as long as I did: The world is a bad place My parents lived by the mantra that everyone that isn't our family is out to get you. This, compounded by the fact that my mother would say one thing, but mean another, meant I felt I could never understand people. I couldn't protect myself in a situation and this of course made me even more scared of people. It got a point that even our extended family was conniving and not to be trusted. Isolation is a common and effect tactic in abusive relationships. I am the worst person that has ever lived My mother would take the smallest thing and turn ...

How to go No Contact with Abusive Parents

How did I go no contact with my narcissistic parents? I had somewhat of a breakdown once my beloved Abuela passed away. She was like a mother to me and sometimes during a depressive episode I feel she was the only person that truly loved me. Once I had come to terms with my grief (I don't think we are ever truly over the death of a loved one, but we’re able to go through life acknowledging the pain rather than living in it) I started to rebuild my life. What did I want for this new phase? Who did I want by my side? My then-boyfriend now-husband and I had moved in together and as our love grew I realised that this is more of what I needed. Love without strings, love without conditions, love without fear. I was introduced to the concept of going No Contact through the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists . Going No Contact, to me, is deciding that if you wouldn't keep a friend that treated you like this in your life then why would you keep your parents? If ...

How to Overcome a Fear of Confrontation

When something nice or beautiful happens I always have the same thought: life is a funny thing. In these moments I feel so connected to everything in the universe and am so grateful to all the moving parts that had to come together to give me this exact moment. Usually these moments happen when I'm surrounded by friends, family or when I'm taking a solo walk through nature. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like the universe is conspiring against me. I feel as if no matter what I do or say nothing is going to work out for me. There is nothing outside of the pain and anxiety I feel in that moment. These may seem like two extremes, maybe they're only my extremes, I don't know, but I know a time when my anxiety shoots through the roof.  When I’m trying to express myself There is something about asking people for anything, especially to spend time with me, that makes me super uncomfortable. As a child of abuse you learn that your wants/needs/emotio...