Skip to main content

What Does it Feel Like to Have Anxiety



Anxiety is a weird state to explain to someone that has never experienced it. I recently had a friend over and we were discussing the worst year of their life. Their anxiety completely took over their life and prevented them from doing even the most basic of tasks.

I nodded as I've also had my fair share of anxiety, although my diagnosis was that it was low. So while my anxiety isn't crippling, when it takes hold it's hard to break free.

Anxiety flare ups


I call them anxiety flare ups because that's what it feels like to me. Like my mind starts spinning gears and before I know it my heart is pounding and my stomach is in knots.

While depression is regret of the past, anxiety is a fear of the future. It's worrying about the unknown and the outcomes of our actions. For me, my anxiety strikes at night. When I wake up at 2am and lie there trying to count backwards from 300 to fall asleep. It's in this moment that my anxiety reminds me that I don't have a huge circle of friends so if I lost people I would eventually end up completely alone. Writing this out is a little embarrassing because when you're not in the midst of your anxiety the things you worried about seem so silly. When you're in it though, it's like you're finally seeing things clearly. You're able to see the subtle points of life and how they all spell out your doom.

What to do when you feel anxious


Everyone has different ways to deal with their anxiety and I think it all really comes down to what triggered your anxiety. What is it that you're anxious about?

Ending up alone: remind yourself of all the amazing people you have in your life. Having a gratitude journal and reflecting on all the good times you've had really helps me when I have this fear.

The fear of failure: remind yourself of all the times you have succeeded. Did you pass probation at work? Did you graduate high school? Did you host a great get together? Surely there is a time when you focused and nailed it. If you can do it once, surely you can do it again.

The fear of letting people down: remind yourself of all the instances where you weren't able to live up to expectation...and how the world kept on turning. How your world didn't collapse and the fact that even those that were disappointed managed to move on. You're not always going to be able to please everyone - that's life.

The fear of sounding stupid: remind yourself about all the times you've gotten it oh so right. The time someone asked a question and you knew the answer.  The time that something clicked for you faster than those around you. And, let's not forget that the opinion of others shouldn't shape your opinion of yourself. If you dull your light or don't pursue something because you fear people will see you as foolish then you're not living your life for yourself.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How to Get Out of a Rut

Finding yourself in  a  rut can be frustrating. Being in a rut can be due to depression, boredom or a recent setback that has left you feeling like there are no options to move forward. When this happens it can feel like an effort just to get yourself dressed each day. I know, I've been there. What is a rut? A rut is a mental state where you feel emotionally and mentally drained, so everything feels like it takes ten times more effort. When every task feels like a mountain you stop trying. It's at these times that I feel self sabotage kicks in. I stop taking care of myself because that feels like the only thing I can control. Once the feeling of the rut passes all I'm left with is oily skin, a few extra kilograms and annoyance that I spent my time binging Netflix shows I've already seen (hello, Gossip Girl and Glee). Weekends that I could have spent creating, exercising, socialising - are completely wasted. When I head back into work on Monday I fee...
Post a Comment
Read more

How to go No Contact with Abusive Parents

How did I go no contact with my narcissistic parents? I had somewhat of a breakdown once my beloved Abuela passed away. She was like a mother to me and sometimes during a depressive episode I feel she was the only person that truly loved me. Once I had come to terms with my grief (I don't think we are ever truly over the death of a loved one, but we’re able to go through life acknowledging the pain rather than living in it) I started to rebuild my life. What did I want for this new phase? Who did I want by my side? My then-boyfriend now-husband and I had moved in together and as our love grew I realised that this is more of what I needed. Love without strings, love without conditions, love without fear. I was introduced to the concept of going No Contact through the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists . Going No Contact, to me, is deciding that if you wouldn't keep a friend that treated you like this in your life then why would you keep your parents? If ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why do People Stay With Abusive Parents?

The sad thing about abuse is it's all about training an individual to believe that without their abuser they're nothing. Abuse teaches the victim that they'll fail without the abusers hand guiding them through every situation. Although I was extremely depressed, always anxious and the most miserable I had been in my life, here are the reasons I stayed with my parents for as long as I did: The world is a bad place My parents lived by the mantra that everyone that isn't our family is out to get you. This, compounded by the fact that my mother would say one thing, but mean another, meant I felt I could never understand people. I couldn't protect myself in a situation and this of course made me even more scared of people. It got a point that even our extended family was conniving and not to be trusted. Isolation is a common and effect tactic in abusive relationships. I am the worst person that has ever lived My mother would take the smallest thing and turn ...
2 comments
Read more