Skip to main content

How to Build Successful Habits


I have always been a lover of a list. To-do list, cleaning list, books to read, holiday destinations, goals, dreams, Christmas card list and so on. I felt like if I could just get everything bouncing around in my head down on paper I could finally be that ultimate version of myself. Each birthday, new year, month I would write it all out and every time I would fail. Every time I would be frustrated with myself for not sticking to my plan of working down the list. I would be right back where I started determined to get it right this time. 

Willpower and motivation are funny things. The American Psychological Association claimed that willpower is not something you can just summon, it's a resource. Like all other resources it's finite so when it runs out you need to build it back up again. Ever had a terrible day at work and before you know it you're hitting up McDonald's getting a McFlurry and a Large Mc Value meal? Yes, says literally everyone because this happens to literally everyone.

So, if willpower is something that depletes over time why do some people become goal diggers and the others...well, not? It's about habits. Habits are the patterns that we go through in our day. Maybe you love a coffee on the way to work or have a drink on a Friday night to close off the work week. Each and every habit that you cultivate changes the direction of your life. If we go back to the McFlurry example - those calories are going to add up and without the proper exercise you'll start stacking on the kg's.

Most habits we build subconsciously and these are the ones most harmful to us. The actions we do out of frustration or when we feel we've lost control are never calculated - they're reactionary. It's usually us doing a big FU to the world and in the end we only hurt ourselves.

So how so we build a successful habit?



Let's shift focus to a good habit you have already developed. You didn't build a skin care routine by chance. You sat down, determined if you had dry/oily/combination/normal skin, researched and then bought products accordingly. You now apply those products as prescribed and each morning or week you check their progress. If the products aren't performing how you would like you start the process again.

WHY (WANTING BETTER SKIN)
WHAT'S MISSING (NEW SKIN CARE PRODUCTS and KNOWLEDGE ABOUT SKINCARE)
CREATE THE HABIT (WASHING FACE WITH PRODUCTS DAILY)
CHART PROGRESS (DID MY SKIN CLEAR UP?)
REASSESS (DO I NEED DIFFERENT PRODUCTS OR MORE INFORMATION)

One last piece of advice: if you find you're unable to stick to your new habit then it might be too ambitious for you at the moment. I once had a goal to build a gym habit. I would go every day for 30 days. I lasted three days because my schedule of working full time and having a nine week old puppy didn't lend well to me going to the gym every day.

Being realistic with the amount of time and energy you can give a new habit is crucial to prevent sliding back into previous patterns of behaviour.

Want to download my flow chart? Grab a PDF copy here. Also, let me know down in the comments if you found this post useful or shoot me a DM on Instagram @breathe.syd .



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

How to Get Out of a Rut

Finding yourself in  a  rut can be frustrating. Being in a rut can be due to depression, boredom or a recent setback that has left you feeling like there are no options to move forward. When this happens it can feel like an effort just to get yourself dressed each day. I know, I've been there. What is a rut? A rut is a mental state where you feel emotionally and mentally drained, so everything feels like it takes ten times more effort. When every task feels like a mountain you stop trying. It's at these times that I feel self sabotage kicks in. I stop taking care of myself because that feels like the only thing I can control. Once the feeling of the rut passes all I'm left with is oily skin, a few extra kilograms and annoyance that I spent my time binging Netflix shows I've already seen (hello, Gossip Girl and Glee). Weekends that I could have spent creating, exercising, socialising - are completely wasted. When I head back into work on Monday I fee...

How to Manage Toxic People and Build Meaningful Friendships

I used to have friends that made me feel bad about myself. I can link so many of the things I'm self-conscious about (my weight, my skin tone, my afro hair, my strawberry legs, my breast size) back to a single person and moment in time. I was a pretty oblivious kid and stuff like that didn't really matter to me. My main concern was making sure I behaved perfectly so my mother wouldn't abuse me. Looking back, those people weren't my friends. We liked the same things, we talked on the phone, we went to movies and even had sleepovers...but compared to the people I surround myself with now it seems crazy I spent any time with them at all. My current best friend (HI IF YOU'RE READING THIS) would never poke fun at my weight. She would never purposefully put me down to make herself seem prettier, smarter, funnier or a range of other emotions. As a teenager and young adult you tell yourself that you have to forgive these people. "They're just jealous of me...

I'm a Survivor of Child Abuse, not a Victim

I'm a survivor, not a victim. I'm not weaker because of my abuse. It doesn’t make me weird, strange or frankly even unique. It's made me stronger and this is something I struggled with for a long time. I felt like my childhood made me lesser of a person than everyone else. I blamed it for everything. My social anxiety - abuse. My depression – sucky childhood. My poor social support system – bad parenting. My relationship to my extended family – angry parents. My financial situation – sadness. Victim. Victim. Victim. Poor Sussan. A change of mindset can work wonders on changing the world around you. You become in control of the situation. You control your story and let’s face it – when your parents are abusive control is something you’ve barely felt before. Once I started seeing myself as a survivor and less (I still slip into victim mode here and there) I felt a sense of empowerment. I may not have had the beautiful family life that you see on te...