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What to do When Hitting a Goal Doesn't Make you Happy


I'll be happy when I move out of my parents house.

I'll be happy when I get that job, no wait that one, oh wait no this other one.

I'll be happy when I fit into this dress.

I'll be happy when I finally learn to drive.

I'll be happy when we move in together.

I'll be happy...

These are all things I've said to myself in an effort to convince myself that I would finally be able to live my dream life as soon as I achieved X. As you can see, X has many different forms. X can be an item, an achievement, a commitment, a person or a place. At one point I was so convinced if I moved to Tokyo I would happy. While on holiday in Tokyo I convinced myself I would be happy if I went back home and enrolled in a new bachelor degree.

Safe to say all this 'goal digging' didn't leave me feeling satisfied. In fact, it did quite the opposite. I was left feeling emptier than I did before I started on this new quest.

I don't want to be that person and say all your adult problems stem from your childhood, but mate how many really don't? Let me lay this out for you. There was no downtime in my parents house. If I was awake I was to be productive. I was never outright told this, that would be too easy. Instead when I didn't get a desired result or something went wrong it was because of all that television I watch. It was because I spent my time mucking around with drawing or writing or whatever kids do. You get the picture. When relaxing is used against you, you stop relaxing.

As an adult I'm learning to relax, although now we call it self care. Self care is when you take time to do something purely for yourself. This may sound selfish, but it's not. How much of a better employee are you when you get to take your lunch break? How much of a better wife, husband or partner are you when you're able to do that hobby you enjoy? We are able to give more of ourselves to others when we are given time to focus on ourselves.

DW Home Candles have taken my bath relaxation to a new level.
   
But Sussan, what does this have to do with my goals? Well! A big part of self care is mindfulness. Take the time to purely acknowledge where you're at - whether it's in life, your relationships, your career, your geography and so on. When you're mindful you're able to soak up everything that's going on and really appreciate all the blessings you've already received.

Headspace is my favourite place to go to for guided meditation on patience, mindfulness and appreciation. 

You see, the reason achieving a goal feels unfulfilling is because as soon as you hit that goal you're running to the other side of the field to hit the another one like some personified beep test (do they still make children do this in high school?). You don't always have to be on or productive. You don't always have to be striving for the next big thing.

Take a second and just reflect on where you've come from. I always think back to my lowest point and man does that put my current problems into perspective. If I had to choose between 'severe depression' and 'my puppy (puppy tax and shameless plug) still has accidents in the house at seven months of age, I thought he would be done with this by now' I know which one I'll choose.

Let me known down below how you're going to take a moment and just breathe.

Also, be sure to check out the breathe. Instagram for quotes, inspiration and furbabies!

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