How to Start Over and Build Your Life from Scratch

With my 29th birthday coming up I have been reflecting on my last decade. I've gone from living in an abusive household with suicidal thoughts, to an abusive relationship and now I'm here. I live with the love of my life in a comfortable apartment in an up and coming suburb. I don't have to worry about money like I used to (although we would drown without a budget) and I have my own form of transport. I see a psychologist monthly and write in my gratitude journal as often as I remember. I have cut ties with the friends and family that put me down to build themselves up and now have wonderful friends and strong relationships with the non-toxic side of my family.

It got me thinking - what if this was where I had started? How would my twenties have turned out if my biggest concerns weren't avoiding my emotions and dodging abuse?

I think back to the nights I cried myself to sleep, the food I ate to at least have some control over my life, the tests I didn't have the motivation to study for because I was more interested in just finding someone to love me. If I had been raised with love and support and was now just entering adulthood what would I do?

So I've decided to grant myself this wish and have decided to look at the future as if it was the first time. As if I was 18 again.

I'm enrolling into university to do a course I want to do.
I'm going to write short stories and actually share them with the world.
I'm going to write a blog (hello!).
I'm going to learn to water paint.
I'm going to learn to bake, layer and decorate delicate cakes.
I'm going to meditate.
I'm going to exercise.
I'm going to get a dog and train it to pretend to die when I aim my fingers at it and tell bang.

I'm going to do whatever makes me happy because it's never too late to be happy. It's never too late to set the plans in motion that you had when you first stepped out of adolescence and into adulthood. I can't remember who said it, but the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago and the second best time is now.

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breathe.

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