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How to Become Independent - Steps to Take



A lot of the time when I speak to people in abusive situations the main reason they don't leave is they believe they can't take care of themselves without the guidance of the abuser. As I've mentioned before the main goal of abuse is to convince an individual that they are weak and lucky that the abuser is able to put up with them.

Whether you're with an abusive partner or living with toxic parents here are three things you can do to work towards your independence:



GROCERY SHOPPING

Being able to keep myself fed was a major fear of mine when I decided to live alone. How much of anything did I need? How much did groceries cost? What would I even cook?

All of these questions can be answered by meal prepping. Meal prep is when you figure out what food you're going to eat for a period of time and then make it ahead of time.

Step 1: Find a recipe or two that you would like to make.

Step 2: Calculate how much of each ingredient you'll need. For example if your lunch time recipe calls for 1 cup of rice, but you want to make enough of this recipe to last you the Monday - Friday work week then you need 5 cups of rice.

Step 3: Hop onto the Woolworths or Coles website and start to add these items to cart. You don't have to buy them, but it's nice to have a working number in your head when you do.

Step 4: Cook your meals and store them. You can refrigerate or freeze your meals. 

Meal Prep Sunday is an amazing resource for figuring out how to get into the wonderful world of meal prepping.

Here's the thing - even if you buy a tonne of food and it all expires that's A-OK. It's not the end of the world. The man at Woolworths is not going to be mad at you so don't stress.



FINANCIALS

I've written before about how to get your financial situation in order. This isn't about being in control of your money. It's about just knowing where it is. How much money is coming in and where it eventually flows out.

You'll also be able to see how much money you're currently putting towards bills and how often. In a world where cash transactions are becoming less frequent your financial statements are a treasure trove of information.

IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS

This is so important and a step I didn't consider when I moved out. When I got married it was frustrating having to get a new copy of my birth certificate because I had left the original at my parents place.

Where are your important documents?

Important documents include:
Your passport
Your birth certificate
Your marriage certificate
Your work or educational certificates
Your school transcripts

Hopefully completing these three tasks will give you a boost in confidence when you think about leaving the abuse behind and starting your new life.

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