A lot of the time
when I speak to people in abusive situations the main reason they don't leave
is they believe they can't take care of themselves without the guidance of the
abuser. As
I've mentioned before the main goal of abuse is to convince an individual
that they are weak and lucky that the abuser is able to put up with them.
Whether you're with
an abusive partner or living with toxic parents here are three things you can
do to work towards your independence:
GROCERY SHOPPING
Being able to keep
myself fed was a major fear of mine when I decided to live alone. How much of
anything did I need? How much did groceries cost? What would I even cook?
All of these
questions can be answered by meal prepping. Meal prep is when you figure out
what food you're going to eat for a period of time and then make it ahead of
time.
Step 1: Find a
recipe or two that you would like to make.
Step 2: Calculate
how much of each ingredient you'll need. For example if your lunch time recipe
calls for 1 cup of rice, but you want to make enough of this recipe to last you
the Monday - Friday work week then you need 5 cups of rice.
Step 3: Hop onto the
Woolworths or Coles website and start to add these items to cart. You don't
have to buy them, but it's nice to have a working number in your head when you
do.
Step 4: Cook your
meals and store them. You can refrigerate or freeze your meals.
Meal Prep Sunday is an
amazing resource for figuring out how to get into the wonderful world of meal
prepping.
Here's the thing -
even if you buy a tonne of food and it all expires that's A-OK. It's not the
end of the world. The man at Woolworths is not going to be mad at you so don't
stress.
FINANCIALS
I've
written before about how to get your financial situation in order. This
isn't about being in control of your money. It's about just knowing where it
is. How much money is coming in and where it eventually flows out.
You'll also be able
to see how much money you're currently putting towards bills and how often. In
a world where cash transactions are becoming less frequent your financial
statements are a treasure trove of information.
IMPORTANT DOCUMENTS
This is so important
and a step I didn't consider when I moved out. When I got married it was
frustrating having to get a new copy of my birth certificate because I had left
the original at my parents place.
Where are your
important documents?
Important documents
include:
Your passport
Your birth
certificate
Your marriage
certificate
Your work or
educational certificates
Your school
transcripts
Hopefully completing
these three tasks will give you a boost in confidence when you think about
leaving the abuse behind and starting your new life.
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