Retrain My Brain With YouTube - A Six Part Series

Retrain My Brain With YouTube - A Six Part Series - Day Three

I've set a goal. It's not a big goal or particularly difficult, but I have a habit of quitting what I try to start so I thought if I wrote it all down I would push through.

If you haven't read the previous parts of this series follow these links: Day one! Day two!

I listen to a lot of positivity and self-motivational videos, talks and podcasts, but this video hit hard to home. I like to believe everyone is on a journey and I'm at this point in mine where I believe, like truly believe, I deserve happiness and success. I deserve to work hard at something and actually complete it. I deserve to not abandon a project once it starts going well because I'm afraid of success or don't feel I'm worthy of success.

So I made a commitment sitting on the floor of my office meditation/prayer room: I would listen to this video every day for 6 more days. I wanted to see if it would penetrate my consciousness and if the messages would ingrain themselves in my mind. I'll post my updates and may even do a vlog about my experience and how this impacts my soul journey.

Day Three - Monday:

I started listening to the video this morning and second guessed if there was a point to it. My husband and I made some decisions the previous night in regards to our financial situation that left me feeling like I had failed. I woke up with this feeling still lingering over me, but that dark cloud got a little less heavy when John Addison mentioned gratitude. Gratitude for my husband, my loving cats, our beautiful home, my supportive friends and family, my great and accommodating job. I may not be where I want to be financially, but I still have so many other blessings in life. If I only dwell on the negative, then the negative is all I'll feel I have.

So that's my takeaway from this morning's listening session - mindfulness and gratitude.

Comments

Why do People Stay With Abusive Parents?

The sad thing about abuse is it's all about training an individual to believe that without their abuser they're nothing. Abuse teaches the victim that they'll fail without the abusers hand guiding them through every situation. Although I was extremely depressed, always anxious and the most miserable I had been in my life, here are the reasons I stayed with my parents for as long as I did: The world is a bad place My parents lived by the mantra that everyone that isn't our family is out to get you. This, compounded by the fact that my mother would say one thing, but mean another, meant I felt I could never understand people. I couldn't protect myself in a situation and this of course made me even more scared of people. It got a point that even our extended family was conniving and not to be trusted. Isolation is a common and effect tactic in abusive relationships. I am the worst person that has ever lived My mother would take the smallest thing and turn ...

How to go No Contact with Abusive Parents

How did I go no contact with my narcissistic parents? I had somewhat of a breakdown once my beloved Abuela passed away. She was like a mother to me and sometimes during a depressive episode I feel she was the only person that truly loved me. Once I had come to terms with my grief (I don't think we are ever truly over the death of a loved one, but we’re able to go through life acknowledging the pain rather than living in it) I started to rebuild my life. What did I want for this new phase? Who did I want by my side? My then-boyfriend now-husband and I had moved in together and as our love grew I realised that this is more of what I needed. Love without strings, love without conditions, love without fear. I was introduced to the concept of going No Contact through the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists . Going No Contact, to me, is deciding that if you wouldn't keep a friend that treated you like this in your life then why would you keep your parents? If ...

How to Overcome a Fear of Confrontation

When something nice or beautiful happens I always have the same thought: life is a funny thing. In these moments I feel so connected to everything in the universe and am so grateful to all the moving parts that had to come together to give me this exact moment. Usually these moments happen when I'm surrounded by friends, family or when I'm taking a solo walk through nature. On the other hand, sometimes I feel like the universe is conspiring against me. I feel as if no matter what I do or say nothing is going to work out for me. There is nothing outside of the pain and anxiety I feel in that moment. These may seem like two extremes, maybe they're only my extremes, I don't know, but I know a time when my anxiety shoots through the roof. When I’m trying to express myself There is something about asking people for anything, especially to spend time with me, that makes me super uncomfortable. As a child of abuse you learn that your wants/needs/emotio...

breathe.

Search This Blog